Avid Diva - teachings for your new life

we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required” Sir Winston Churchill.

There are no accidents in life. I know this for sure. I am clearing old messages from one of my e-mail accounts when I found this quote at exactly the right time.

I’ve been living in Florida now for over three months. I had a dream of coming back to the states and in the scale of how scary this idea was, I hit 20. In case you don’t know, it was also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My parents live in Puerto Rico and it was painful to leave them behind. There comes a time when each one of us has to decide to do what is right for ourselves and follow our own dreams. My time is now.

Is this my best? Maybe. Am I doing what is required to get to where I want to go? After putting it off for many years, I can finally say that I am doing it. By this time next year, I hope to depend solely on on the income from my adventures. I better get to those requirements. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t do it tomorrow. DO IT NOW!!!

Last Monday we talked about the fears associated with procrastination.  The last fear mentioned was the fear of commitment. Today we go a little deeper.

For all of us procrastinators, there is a possibility we are afraid of commitment.  Why?  Because once you make a commitment (even if it is only in your head) to do something, you either do it or you feel like a failure.

The experts think that procrastinators feel safer if we do not commit.  But guess what?  If you never do anything, you are not going to progress.  In a sense, you are failing anyway.  And as we discussed in earlier posts, what is the big deal about failing?  Failing is how we learn. 

I ask you, if this is your reason behind procrastinating, commit to quit procrastinating and try something.   Feel the fear and do it anyway and then, tell me all about it.

Imagination leads to creation

more important than knowledge”

Albert Einstein

How many times, as an adult, have you let your imagination take flight? How many of the things you own and take for granted, where someone’s dream not to long ago?

Think about some of the things we see in sci-fi shows like Star Trek? There was traveling in space, talking to someone very far away with a gadget smaller than the palm of your hand and doors that open and close with a sensor (just to name a few). Look at MP3 players, laptop computers, even cell phones that take pictures, video and download the latest music, or send e-mail.

Many people walk around with a dream in their head that they don’t know how to make a reality. I am one of them. I am sure that you have, at one time or another, thought of an idea and years later seen someone else actually take it to market.

Stop Procrastinating!!! Start working on that dream of yours, even if you lack the knowledge on how to make it happen. Let your imagination guide you. You never know where this adventure will lead. The experience alone will be better than sitting at home for another day doing nothing. Make it happen. I believe you can do it. Do you believe you can?

Are you afraid?

Last Monday, we defined things in our to-do list.  Then we discussed your to-don’ts.  Today, we are looking at the things you say you don’t want to do when in reality, you are afraid to tackle them or complete them.

Experts say there are three main reasons for fear:  fear of success, fear of failure or fear of commitment.  Let’s look at this a little deeper.

Some of us are afraid of success.  If we get it right, then, why didn’t we get it right before?  Well, I believe that everything happens at the perfect time.  Maybe your skill set now accomodates the challenge.  Now you might have resources you did not have before.  Things are going to happen when you are ready to receive them.  Enjoy the moment.  Don’t question it and don’t compare it to anything else that has happened before or you expect that might happen later.  Also, keep in mind: the only person you have to please is you.  Do not even think about what others might read or interpret or expect from you in the future.  It is not a healthy way of living. 

If you are afraid of failure, here is a news flash for you.  During your lifetime, you have failed many times.  How do I know?  Because in order for you to learn something you have to attempt it.  You did not walk the first time you tried.  You fell on your behind many times.  If you know how to ride a bike or skates, you have failed too.  The difference is that in your head, those things are fun.  And now, it is real life.  Who says that failing now can’t be fun AND educational?  Do not take your life so seriously.  Be like a kid, filled with wonder and try something new every day.  If you are feeling afraid, try smaller things until you stretch that part of you.  And always remember:  feel the fear and do it anyway.

The last fear was a discovery for me.  There are experts talking about fear of commitment as being one of the main reasons for procrastination.  Why?  Because once you start something, you make a commitment to do it.  Some people are not good at committing.  It is easier to “try”.  Next week, I will tell you what I have learned about this theory.  In the meantime, your homework is to look at your to-don’ts, figure out what fears are keeping you from tackling these tasks, and as you “hug” your fear, do it anyway.  And when you do, tell me all about it.

I don’t want to do it
Last week I told you to list your “to-dos” and figure out why you never finish certain items, which from now on we will call your “to-don’ts”. Today we take a closer look at the ones you say you don’t want to do.

When you look at a list of things that never get done, what is the first thing that comes to mind?
1) Why do I always say yes to stuff I really don’t care to do?
2) Why do people always expect me to do X or Y?
3) Did you include in your to-do list something you are afraid off?
Let’s break it down.

If you are always saying yes to things whether you want to do them or not
You really need to learn to say NO. Learn to put yourself first.

If you have things on your list that others expect you to do
Again, put yourself first. Your word to yourself should be as important as your word to others. You set your own standards to how you want to live your life. Do not allow others to decide those standards for you. If they are so interested in getting something done, they should do it. Learn to voice your priorities. Be polite when saying no. Be firm.

Are you afraid?
The last example is different. Some times we say we don’t want to do something, when in reality, we are afraid of doing the thing or we are afraid of the results of doing the thing. You have to be incredibly honest with yourself and face the truth. If you are afraid, then next Monday we will tackle those items on the list that we are afraid off.

In the meantime, add to your list of “to don’ts” those thing you added to your task list for the week and you continually put off. We will get through this, one step at a time.