Avid Diva - teachings for your new life

When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?  Is it the beautiful day ahead?  Is it the fact that you overslept?  Is it the traffic later on, the breakfast, your long day ahead?  STOP.

Try this for three weeks and let me know how it goes:  as soon as you open your eyes, think of all the things you are greatful for.  If you need help with the list, start with the fact that God (or whatever you believe in) gave you the present of life.  Then start thinking of your family and friends.  Maybe you can be thankful that you have a job or a source of income, that you have a body to exericise, that you have a roof over your head.  It could be as simple as thanking God that you actually had a bed to sleep in.

After doing this for three weeks, I can guarantee you that you will not need much help finding things to be thankful for, from the biggies to the smallest ones.  And you will also notice how your mood starts to change.  If you are one of those people that seems to get grumpy out of bed, you will see that there is a smile on your face, your mood lifts, your energy shines and you are more relaxed.

Start with the beginning of your day.  Once you become an expert on this, I will tell you about the rest of your day.  You can make your life be whatever YOU want it to be, you just have to want to.

Image that motivates me - the beauty of water (in Puerto Rico)

There are reasons and then there are motivations.  A reason is something that is logical and true.  A motivation is more of a feeling or push to get what you want.  If you want to shed weight in order to fit in a pair of jeans, get a job, get a man, get a life, those are motivations.  If you need to get healthy and the side effect is the lower weight, congratulations.  That is a reason.

I was appalled this week when a friend told me that her life coach told her to loose weight in order to have a “chance” with the man of her dreams.  I had to bite my tongue not to say that the coach was an idiot.  I mean, really, who says stuff like that.  The job of a coach is to help you get clear about your goals and help you to think outside the box in order to achieve those goals.  The job of a coach is not to give trite dating advice.  If the purpose of her visit was to discuss her weight, the coach could have emphasized the health risks of excess weight, the exacerbation of certain conditions, like asthma, the worsening of arthritis and other symptoms.  Those are good reasons to start eating better and exercising.  So what does this coach tell my friend?  In order to catch a man, loose weight.

What kind of man does she think my friend want, a shallow, self centered man who is into the package and not the content?  What does a skinny woman have that a fat one does not?  Why is there so many examples in Hollywood (and in the rest of the world) of beautiful, talented, rich celebrities that cannot find their soul mates?  It is not about the motivation, stupid, it is about the reason.  Your “reason” is simplistic and is not creating confidence in your abilities.

In the end, we all want to get healthier and look better.  But one more piece of advice for that so called “coach”.  If you “loose” weight instead of shedding it, the weight WILL find its way back to you, because it is a natural human instinct to find what it has lost.  Learn to speak with the proper terms, and while you are at it, learn something about the human condition, before you give such irrelevant advice.

This is a question that is coming up a lot.  My friends and associates are wondering, what do you want AVIDDIVA to mean to everyone?

I want you to understand that I am in the process of creating a new concept.  A company that offers coaching and lifestyle changes to you as an individual.  I want you to believe that there is nothing more important than for you to take care of yourself in all aspects of your life, before you can care for anyone.  This is very important.  This is my goal.  And women usually do not do this.

We are raised to be nurturers and care takers.  We are not taught to pay attention to our own needs.  The effect is simple, we raise a new generation of women who do not take care of themselves either.  This process repeats itself generation after generation.  In the end, women take care of their spouses, parents, children, co-workers, lovers, siblings…anyone but themselves.  If you spend 23 hours caring for others, you are too exhausted to care for yourself and you  might sleep that last hour of the day, only to start all over again tomorrow.

STOP!!! Take a look at yourself.  Are you happy living this way?  Are those around you happy, truly happy?  Or are you miserable and surrounded by people who depend on you to be happy?  Is that the life you want?  If you decide that you want something better for yourself, keep an eye on what we are creating.  You are going to love AVIDDIVA.